Originally published in Skirt! Magazine April 20, 2010
We drove all the way to North Carolina to find him that summer. We had never even heard of his town- Leicester. Which is weirdly pronounced like Lester instead of the Lee-cester we kept asking for at gas stations. Going by clues and pieces we gathered from the locals he bear hunted with, we found his cabin in the hills outside of Asheville. How crazy can three girls be? We were about to find out as we started down his one way drive, getting closer and closer with barely any room to turn around!
"Turn around! Turn Around!" Sara cried out from the back seat. "He's gonna see us!" She and Tanner had basically just met and were talking on the phone, but here we were over an hour away- stalking him. Wanting to know more about the guy that she could potentially be with forever.
We have done this for a while, my girlfriends and me. Starting at around 18 we would meet a guy, decide we were interested and then track him down. As insane as it sounds it's fun and very informative! You can tell a lot by a person from where they live. Are they nature lovers? Do they choose to live close to people or have a lot of space? Or maybe it's just the need to know more before you get in too deep.
And those of you shaking your heads better check yourself because I KNOW that you have Googled at least one person in your life!
Besides the curiosity there's a team bonding moment too. And by the end of it we had it down to a science. We would take the car of the girl they were least likely to see, and most of the time the actual lady involved would sit in the back, where they could duck if he suddenly appeared. Then, it became a game of chicken. How far could we get to the house without the girl freaking out. Sara did end up marrying Tanner and they now how the cutest baby on the planet. And I like to think our efforts back then had a small part to do with it.
Crazy things have happened on those trips as well. From trying to find someone just based on an address, then getting lost trying to find their road only to look back at a stop sign and see them pulled up right behind us. We have been pulled over by the cops, discovered amazing homes, and one huge bright aqua van parked in the driveway of a lean-to that should have told me the relationship would never last.
We even stalked my husband, Adam. Well, it was more like four rapid drive-bys because at the time he lived at a dead end. The funniest part though is going to their house for the "first time" and pretending to see it as something new.
"Wow, Adam I love how shady your property is, I imagined it soooo differently" Yeah, right.
Then comes the part in all our serious relationships where we sit the guy down and tell them our funny story of how we found them. Some are more amused than others but it has always made great memories for us and a time in my life where it was ok to be free and wild with your girls and not take the hunt for love so seriously.